Come on Mr. Webster.

He smiles.
I smiles.
He gives me that look.
He knows the one.
The one that sees right through me
Right down to the depths of my being.
He knows me.
Better than anyone I've ever known.
He can tell what I'm thinking.
Even when I don't want him to.
It's absolutely horrible
and absolutley amazing.
Even if I'm not saying a word
He knows.
I swear he can read minds.
Or at least mine.
Like we're on the same wave length or something.
Words?
Someone please invent a word for this!
This completely compatible descriptionless weirdness.
But for now,
I think I'll just call it
love.

He knows.

Bodies moving in time to the music
Bits of conversations bounce off the walls around me
The room is full.
Yet I'm all alone.
Or am I?
I see him from across the sea of people.
He doesn't realize,
but I watch him.
Trace his edges with my eyes.
He feels it.
He raises his gaze to meet mine.
Souls interwined.
The world melts away.
He smiles.
And I realize,
I am not alone.
Not even in the most vague defintion of the word.
Oh, I hope he knows,
neither is he.
---Ry 4-13-08---

Notes From A Wall-Flower

People watching. One of my favorite activities. Sixteen years spent quietly observing. Not just observing but learning. I've learned quite a lot.
Number One: PEOPLE ARE STUPID.
They think they are so smart and will give others advice until the cows come home but, as soon as the tables are turned,
as soon as the spot light's on them
they are completely clueless.
Somthing else I've learned:
PEOPLE CONTROL THEIR OWN HAPPINESS.
And that scares the ba-jesus out of some.
The weak ones.
Usually, they know exactly what will make them happy but, refuse tolet themselves have it. Negativity is their biggest downfall.
In a twisted way it comforts them.
"Oh! My life is so horrible!" [it gets attention doesn't it?]
Your life is horrible, huh?
Are you a starving child in a third world country?
Are you terminally ill?
Are you homeless in a Russian Winter?
NO!
So for Christ's sake, smile a little!
No one cares to join your pitty party anyways.
The last I've learned from people watching is by far the most important.
I have found the solution to...well almost any problem
It clears minds and brings the greatest happiness possibly imaginable.
the answer is [whether cliche or not]
love.
As soon as a person falls in love,
not shallow high school lust,
but raw true love,
the world suddenly makes sense.
BUT with this great understanding comes one major drawback.
Certain people will claim that you are changing.
They'll speak in quiet whispers when they think you can't hear.
You think, what would cause them to be so shallow and negative?
jealousy.
Pure unadulterated jealousy.
They really need to open their minds and shut their mouths.
[they sound petty and immature anyways]
Just wait, they'll see. One day. [If they ever get over themselves.]
Which brings us back to point A:
PEOPLE ARE STUPID.
It's amazing how much you learn when you open your mind,
close your mouth and most importantly,
open your heart.
---Ry 4-13-08---

the window.

Rays of sun taunt me through the classroom window.
It takes my mind in a million differen directions.
Anywhere but Europe and it's history.
It takes me to a room full of the warm rich sounds of jazz being played by teenage musicians with nothing better to do.
It takes me behind the wheel of a car, one the color of the ripest summer oranges.
It wanders then to a tiny room filled with music and laughter. Of friends and lunches on foam trays.
My eyes view longingly upon the warm spring morning outside the classroom window.
My thoughts float off on the soft warm breeze.
It wanders to a very conscious walk through a parking lot. To the moment young lovers lock eyes.
To his soft warm smile that melts her completely.
My mind continues to drift further away from Austrian railroads and Russian Czars.
Off to questions asked with a nervous smile that she can't wait to say yes to.
To asking left or right, laughing over loud music with the windows down.
Back to blue eyes whispering "i love you" soft in her ear.
As the warm spring sunlight distacts my thoughts, I sit contemplating life and whether it's as bad as they say.
I think I disagree.
Thanks dumb distracting window :)

Dear Wild Child [A note to my past]

Dear Wild Child,
1-BREATHE! don't take everything so seriously, things will work out, I promise
2-Listen to your friends. They know you & they are usually right when they say you are being a dumbass.
3-DO NOT let people walk all over you. Make yourself be heard.
4- Don't give in to their petty drama. Standup for yourself, even if you are standing alone.
5-Never EVER give up on your dreams. Don't let anyone tell you what to do.
6-Be your own person. Don't conform to what's cool. You're NOT cool. You're bizarre & weird. Trust me WEIRD IS GOOD!!! [these traits will come in later, I swear]
7-Listen to your mother. She is almost ALWAYS right about...well everything.
8-Never believe Andrew when he says he is moving.
9-Don't be jealous of Aaren when the world ends for her first. TRUST ME!
10-Do NOT let Ace move to JF. Chain her to a pole if you have to! (jk)
11-i know all you can think about right now is the thought of love. [being the closet hopeless romantic that you are] and all i have to say is CHILL! don't go looking for love. it WILL find you. I promise. You will find your first true love in the form of a boy with eyes the color of the summer sky. When you do find love, it will be the greatest most amazing feeling you will EVER experience, so BREATHE. don't waste so much energy on attracting the opposite sex. the right guy IS out there. You just hve to be patient.
12- Be more Patient.
13- [the most important] EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON. Don't worry so much about the small things. They really won't matter in the long run.
--All in all just be yourself, life doesn't turn out as bad as you think it will---
Love, You [future tense]

Just Fly.

Wild Child.
Born to run...or was I?
Am I destined to fall?...
To fall and not be caught?
Or maybe born to hide.
I'm good at hiding.
I'm not good at being found.
Maybe the wild one doesn't need to be caught.
Maybe she's meant to keep running...
No, not running....flying.
She's meant to fly.
Born to fly.
To fly to wherever the warm summer breeze decides to take her.
She flies.
Don't stop.
Don't ever stop.
Just keep flying.
Waiting.
Not on someone to catch her.
No.
For the one who can fly fast enough.
Who?
She doesn't know.
She'll know.
But for now, she just keeps flying.
I just keep flying.
Flying.
Flying.
Into the sun.
[West--Summer of 2006]